It is a dark day for gamers. Microsoft has taken Xbox Live down for a scheduled maintenance in preparation for future system updates. This process is scheduled to take 24 painful hours, meaning there are over 10-million people staring blankly at their monitors or high-def televisions, perhaps fondling the controller as if it were rosary beads, wishing, praying for divine intervention.
We are all faced with the cruel reality of finding something to do for the next 24-hours. We all share in the same pain, though for different reasons. Perhaps you are a hardcore Call of Duty player suddenly deprived of your new World at War map-pack. Perhaps, like me, you were looking forward to the 4-song Spinal Tap track-pack for Rock Band that is now delayed until tomorrow. Maybe you’re asking yourself trivia questions to fill that 1 Versus 100 void in your heart.
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What are we to do? Where do we go? Only two minutes have passed since you began reading this article. Time is ticking slow. Is it up yet? Is it up yet? Maybe Microsoft finished early, you tell yourself. You attempt a sign-in. Error. Nothing. You’re adrift on a sea of uncertainty and boredom.
Before you resort to suicide, here are some potentially helpful tips to get you through this disastrous day.
It’s Not Call of Duty, But it Will Do
Your trigger finger is itching to kill something, anything. Single-player campaigns are boring. You need live opponents who keep insisting you’re a cheap camper.
How about this: download the newly released beta of America’s Army 3 from Fileplanet. It’s free and quite good, uses the latest Unreal engine and has a lot of meat on its bones. Just don’t be surprised when you realize the competition is far more skilled than what you find in a typical CoD round.
Try a Free Trial of an MMO
There is no shortage of free trials out there for good MMOs, more than enough to get you through this day.
You could be a superhero in City of Heroes or a bad-guy in City of Villains.
14-Day Free Trial of City of Heroes/City of Villains
You can command the bridge of a starship in an Eve Online trial.
You could give Sony’s FreeRealms a shot if you like games that rip-off World of Warcraft!
Speaking of ripping off World of Warcraft, how about the fairly capable Runes of Magic?
How about a 7-day trial of Age of Conan?
Or a 7-day trial of Warhammer Online?
Dungeons & Dragons Online just went free to play a few days ago, so why not give that a shot?
For the Halo Addicts
A whole day without Halo, however will you survive? Why not try the Quake Live beta? Low system requirements means it will run for anyone.
Buy a PS3…and Take it Back Tomorrow
Find a store that lets you return electronics for a full refund, buy a PlayStation 3, play inFAMOUS, and take everything back tomorrow before your friends find out you sold your soul.
Lose Weight for the Coming Project Natal
Life is conspiring against fat, lazy people who hate to get off their couch. If the evil scientists at Microsoft have their way, we’ll all soon be forced to get our lazy asses off the sofa and flail around in front of our television screen like kids without our ADHD medication.
Why not use the next 24-hours to plan a diet regimen so you are fully prepared for a future of physical activity?
Go Outside
I can’t vouch for this, but I have heard rumors that there are things to do Outside. Outside is that place with minimal shade, that place where animals talk smack against the human race. Supposedly Outside has all kinds of activities, things called hiking and shooting hoops. If you hear of any more, please let me know.
Reintroduce Yourself to Family and Friends
You know those strange people in your house? Yeah, I think they are called family. Perhaps that one with the long hair is called your wife. Those little things? Probably your kids.
Write Angry Letters to Microsoft
Dear Microsoft:
I pay a monthly fee so I can use Xbox Live where and when I want. Since you have cravenly disabled Xbox Live for the next 24-hours, I hereby demand a full refund for this lost day. By my calculations, this lost day of gaming has cost me a whopping 20-cents, of which I expect a full refund.
Start a Twitter Account and Keep Us All Updated on Your Boring Life
Why not share your 24-hours of boredom by Twittering about it? You can join the millions of other people who are bored every day of their life, not just a single day out of the year!
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[...] let’s see what you need to do to install a Warcraft Add-On. 1. Download the mod you want Xbox Live Outage Survival Guide -OR- WTF Am I Gonna Do for 24-Hours?! - infoaddict.com 06/16/2009 It is a dark day for gamers. Microsoft has taken Xbox Live down for a [...]