#7 – Dun Niffelem
Jumping ahead two full generations since WoW launched, we find that Onyxia is nothing more than a distant memory (complete with old timers from “vanilla WoW” recounting archaic tales of these supposed “40-man raids” in trade chat), the Warglaives off Illidan are now inferior to blue-level items from Northrend (making all that fuss over Ninja looting legendary items a waste of time), and pretentiousness has reached an all-time high due to every player racing to flood the realm with server-wide achievement announcements such as “First Level 80 Warrior.”
But we also find that daily quest hubs are just as important as ever, as is the rampant douchebaggery that goes hand in hand with questing.
Dun Niffelem, one of Northrend’s daily quest hubs, resides in the southeast region of the Storm Peaks and provides a slightly more coherent questing ground than Outland’s Ogri’la. But Dun Niffelem adds a new complexity to the ganking conundrum: phasing. Using patented demonic magic that modern scientists call “programming,” the developers managed to actively modify the landscape for each player as that person progressed in certain quest lines.
The result is that two people, both working on different parts of the same quest line, can occupy the same space without seeing or being able to interact with each other because one person’s geography is phased while the other person’s isn’t. Or sometimes, it’s just phased a little differently. Some say it’s a specific example of Einstein’s Theory of Relativity being put to good use. Others acknowledge that it’s simply witchcraft.
What this means is that now when you get ganked, not only do you have to chase down the son of a bitch, which is hard enough to do with flying mounts, but if the aggressor enters an area that’s phased differently than yours, you’re now deprived of your ritualistic revenge. A whole new art form is developed to make full use of phase griefing, and players worldwide rack their brains trying to remember which attacker is phased in which manner, which guild member is on the same portion of their quest line… it just gets confusing.
A typical chat log after a hit-and-run, or gank-and-phase if you prefer:
[1. General][Plsdntkillme]: that stupid god dam rogue kiled me again!!!!!!1 nerf rogues
[1. General][Darthballs]: cry about it why dont u
[1. General][Meloveu]: PENIS!
[1. General][Rofltarded]: reported!
[1. General][Meloveu]: you can’t report penis
[1. General][Rofltarded]: i can report your penis
[1. General][Oprahwndfury]: rogues are a joke i can kill any rogue
[1. General][Plsdntkillme]: kill this rogue
[1. General][Oprahwndfury]: na i dont feel like it
[1. General][Lvsdstpt]: BUY WOW GOLD NOW $15 = 300G WOWGOLD.COM
[Guild][Plsdntkillme]: guys someone help me kill this stupid rogue
[Guild][Tacotusday]: i’ll help you i’m doing quests there, send me invite
[Party][Plsdntkillme]: he’s right on top of you, kill him!!!!!!111
[Party][Tacotusday]: i don’t see him
[Party][Plsdntkillme]: sdlkaghasdklghdskgl he killed me again!
[Party][Tacotusday]: where?
[Party][Plsdntkillme]: right f*cking there!!!!!!1
[Party][Tacotusday]: i don’t see him
[Party][Plsdntkillme]: your a useless doosh
Chances of teabagging: low.
