The popular Nintendo DS game Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney will finally be making its debut on the Apple iPhone next week for $4.99.

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According to a recent survey, 54% of women polled indicated they would be more likely to have a relationship with an iPhone owner as opposed to some other brand. The same survey said the general consensus is that iPhone owners are better groomed, communicate more effectively and have a good sense of humor. Now let’s say you don’t own an iPhone but you want the edge with women. What are your options for improving your odds? Probably not an Android phone. No, your best bet, according to new research, is good old Celery, the vegetable that is only palatable with a dollop of peanut-butter.

CELERY has been labelled “vegetable Viagra” after research shows it increases the pheromone levels in men’s sweat, making them more attractive to women.

Judy Gaman, Dr Walter Gaman and Dr Mark Anderson, authors of the new book Stay Young: Ten Proven Steps to Ultimate Health, said celery contains androstenone – a naturally occurring steroid – and upping your concentration of it should increase pheromone secretion.

They said the effects of eating it are immediate, but warned men not to go overboard, men’s lifestyle website asylum.com reported today.

“We recommend that a guy work out, have a nice warm shower, chomp on a few sticks of celery, brush his teeth and then head out the door smelling good,” said Dr Gaman.

Another reason why men should be keen to eat their vegetables is that celery also increases sex drive and ups the amount of ejaculatory fluids, making climax stronger.

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Is there any life left in the zombie genre? Get it? I made a funny. Comedy hijinks aside, I’m serious. I think I’m getting zombied-out. My threshold may have been reached when authors began re-writing classic literature with zombies as the main characters. Where the hell do you go from there? Apparently, I am somewhat alone in my burgeoning dislike of all things zombies as there is a veritable avalanche of undead media looming on the horizon, from more “classic” books, more comics and graphic novels, a new series on AMC, more movies and more games. Riding this cultural wave to great effect is Monster Mayhem, a new iPhone/iPad game distributed by Chillingo that manages to transcend its zombie aesthetic and deliver a game that is more fun than may be readily apparent at first glance.

Monster Mayem is a hybrid of sorts, a mix between Tower Defense and Operation Wolf. Unlike typical tower defense games, Monster Mayhem doesn’t task you with placing weapons on the screen. Instead, YOU the weapon. The initial stages find you with nothing more than a butcher knife as creatures of the underworld begin their slow waltz across the screen towards their objective, the cemetery gates. Using your finger, you simply swipe across the creatures until you have inflicted enough damage. This act becomes increasingly more difficult as more and varied creatures beginning heading for the gate. Before you know it, you’re swiping your finger against a horde of undead.

Monster Mayhem ramps up the difficulty at a good pace, easing you in slowly but not wasting time in pumping up the action. Within a few rounds you’ll start gaining access to new weapons, from pistols to shotguns, from UZIs to grenades. Every weapon has a limited number of ammo so you have to be careful where and how you use your weapon, ensuring it is effective against the creature in your cross-hairs. As the game progresses and nastier monsters make themselves known, you’ll soon discover that certain weapons are ineffective while others are superior against specific monsters. This constant juggling between weapons for maximum effect is the heart of the game and the constant, rapid interaction required by the player is the heart of Monster Mayhem’s addictiveness.

Monster Mayhem benefits from a great art style, reminiscent of Plants Vs. Zombies, as well as great and varied sound-effects. Levels mature at a good rate (even including obstacles you have to shoot around) and players can even spend money dropped from monsters on weapon upgrades and ammo, adding a new layer of customization.  There are even a few non-standard modes on offer, including Boss Rush and Endless, which enhances the playability considerably.

I expected to be mildly uninterested in this game, based on my own preconceptions and weariness of all things zombies, but Monster Mayhem was able to penetrate my bias and find me playing into the wee hours of the night when I should have been playing the Halo Reach beta. Is their higher praise than that?

Monster Mayhem is $1.99 on iTunes (and looks great on the iPad, though it isn’t native)

Final Rating 5/5

As of this moment, security on the Apple iPhone and iPad involves punching in 4 numbers and that’s it. Not the strongest mode of security I’ve ever seen, but hell, it sure beats entering a CAPTCHA every time you power-up your phone. Well, get ready for something completely different in the next iPhone, as the rumored 4G may have a cardiac sensor that detects the owner’s heartbeat, which it uses to identity the user, locking out all others.

Source: US Patent Office