Kevin Smith has been in the news a lot recently, having recently been kicked off an airplane for occupying too much room in a seat and spilling over the sides like a grilled-cheese sandwich with too much Velveeta. It’s no coincidence that Kevin has a movie coming out this weekend, which must be nothing more than marketing coincidence, I’m sure. Cynicism aside, Kevin’s latest flick looks like it will share the same fate as every other Kevin Smith movie: failure. The man has yet to make a movie that has earned at least $30-million, which really isn’t a huge number to overcome…unless you’re Kevin Smith.

His new movie Cop Out looks terminally unfunny and should be on Starz within the month. Unwilling to rest on his laurels, he is now threatening yet one more movie, this time based on a song, a fact that already spells trouble. It will be called Hit Somebody, a hockey movie, because you know how popular Hockey is…ahem. It will star Seann Scott of American Pie fame, of whom Kevin says, ““I look at this as Seann’s opportunity to go to the (Tom) Hanks level,” Smith said. “Hanks for years and years did this (lesser) role and then he became that (blockbuster movie) guy. This is Seann’s chance to do that as well, not just be Stifler. And it’s my chance to not just be the “Clerks” guy. It’s my chance to do something big, epic in scale. Stories I tell span one day. … This spans 30 years. You’re talking a period. You’re trying to bring people to a time in your life that hasn’t existed in 30 years. The look of it, the feel of it, the sound of it — everything I have is going to be in that movie.”

Hear that? Seann Scott will be going to the “Tom Hanks” level.

…And Smith will be directing a big, epic…hockey movie.

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