In order to celebrate the 50th anniversary of SETI (Search for Extra-Terrestrial Intelligence), England’s Telegraph newspaper asked readers to submit what they would like to communicate to aliens before the visit Earth. Expecting wonderful, uplifting notes extolling our virtues as humans, the Telegraph was shocked to discover the opposite, with the overwhelming majority asking for aliens to please put us out of our misery.

For what would he learn about mankind? First, that we are vicious, creatures who have already done a great job of wrecking our home. “Please kill us now … have no mercy,” urged a gentleman from Indiana. “We are evil and you must defend yourself.”

“Keep away from this planet,” agreed Pamela from Sicily. “Mankind is only intent on depleting, abusing and destroying [it]. They will do the same to yours should they find it. Mankind is the worst virus in the universe. You have been warned.”

Nick from Calne was equally blunt: “If you manage to work out how to travel to us, don’t bother, as we’ll probably probe you, try to blow you up or worse still, steal your technology and invade… Have a nice day.”

Rob from Georgia, meanwhile, was prepared to throw the rest of mankind to the lions: “Dearest Aliens, If you choose to conquer Earth, please do not kill or enslave those of us who can name all 12 men to have walked on the Moon. We are the ones worth keeping around.”

Seema from Elgin had a compelling reason for ET not to bother with us: “If you’re planning to visit our planet, please know you will need to remove all metal from your person, take your shoes off and submit to a full body scan, carry all liquids/gels/aerosols in clear plastic bottles no bigger than 3.4oz, surrender all cigarette lighters and batteries, pack all jams and jellies (but pies can be carried on)… Oh, yes. Welcome to the Earth!”

Ever since the radio was invented, humanity has inadvertently beamed signals into the outer reaches of space. Every broadcast radio and television show ever aired is currently venturing across the universe, carrying our cultural signal to potential alien life that may or may not have the ability to decipher our strange entertainment.

However, with the dawn of satellite technology, Earth is broadcasting considerably fewer signals and as such, our planet has become nearly silent.

While old-style TV transmitters might generate one million watts, the power of a satellite signal was around 20 watts. Satellites also aimed their transmissions at the Earth, with almost none being allowed to escape into space.

Use of cable prevented the leakage of signals even more effectively.

”Now the actual amount of radiation escaping into space is about two watts, not much more than you get from a cell phone,” said Dr Drake.

”If this continues into the future very soon our world will become undetectable. Using ourselves as an example, it means the difficulty of finding other civilisations will be much greater.

”We’re going to have to search many more stars and many more frequencies.”

Any alien civilisations that existed were likely to be far more advanced than ours, he said. Their analogue TV age probably came and went long ago, before humans even thought about searching the sky for signs of intelligent life.

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The SETI program has been operating for many years, its sole purpose to listen closely to the sounds of the universe for any clue that extra-terrestrial life exists. So far, the SETI program has heard nothing. Unfortunately, the SETI program has a set of ears that can only hear basic radio waves, a form of communication that, universally speaking, must be about as low-tech as you can get. Chances are pretty good that if an alien civilizations exists, they have long since evolved past the radio-band.

Now a group of scientists, led by Paul Davies of Arizona State University, will recommend that researchers begin looking for alien life right here on Earth. It’s not little green men with big cat eyes that Mr. Davies is hunting for, but micro-organisms that that came from other planets in a variety of ways and now find themselves living in remote and secluded locations.

Addressing the meeting to mark the 50th anniversary of the Search for Extra-Terrestrial Intelligence (SETI) programme — a quest that has fallen far short of its objectives — Professor Davies will argue that demonstrating that life has appeared more than once on Earth would be the best evidence yet that it must exist elsewhere in the Universe.

He told The Times: “We need to give up the notion that ET is sending us some sort of customised message and take a new approach.”

According to Professor Davies, “weird” microbes that belong to a completely separate tree of life, dubbed the “shadow biosphere”, could be present in isolated ecological niches in which ordinary life struggles to survive. Likely hiding places include deserts, scalding volcanic vents, the dry valleys of Antartica or salt-saturated lakes.

One team, led by Felisa WolfeSimon, of the US Geological Survey, is investigating the possibility that places that are heavily contaminated with arsenic, such as the Mono Lake in California, might support forms of life that use arsenic in the same way that other life forms use phosphorus.

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Cattle mutilations are on the rise once again, this time hitting the state of Colorado. What causes these mutilations? No one is quite sure. Theories range from a simple prank to devil-loving cults to aliens from outer space.

Four calves, all killed overnight. Their innards gone. Tongues sliced out. Udders carefully removed. Facial skin sliced and gone. Eyes cored away. Not a single track surrounding the carcasses, which were found in pastures locked behind two gates and a mile from any road. Not a drop of blood on the ground or even on the remaining skin.

“A lion will drag its kill. Coyotes rip and tear flesh. These were perfect cuts — like with a laser or like a scalpel. And what would take the waste — all the guts — and leave the nice, tender meat?” Sanchez says, as he nudges his old Ford through rutted trails, rosary beads swinging from his rearview mirror. “No tracks. No blood. No nothing. I got nothing to go by. They don’t leave no trace.”

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