Just when you thought movies about asteroids couldn’t possibly get any more lame than Michael Bay’s Armageddon, along comes a project that simply baffles the mind: Asteroids. As in, the 1979 version of the classic videogame Asteroids. The game where you shot asteroids. That’s it. You shot asteroids into smaller pieces and then shot those as well. Sometimes the plot would be spruced up with an intermittent spaceship. Sometimes it would be the real small one that was difficult to hit. That’s Asteroids in a nutshell.

Now imagine 90-minutes of film wasted on that concept.

My balls just shriveled.

With Ridley Scott’s Monopoly movie in the works, Candyland and Battleship in development, Bazooka Joe in pre-production, you can just smell the pungent scent of crap wafting over the brain-trust of Hollywood.

Universal Studios is the one to blame for this latest nonsense, actually winning a bidding war to secure the rights, if you can believe that b.s.

All the sad details can be found at The Hollywood Reporter.